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Not Vegas – But Close Enough!

So my sister turned 37 on August 31st. That mean PARTY! We decided to go to a casino in good ol’ PA. Boy, was that a good decision. So much fun blowing coin on roulette. Drinks, dancing, people watching included. You can’t beat that with a bat.

It’s funny how dance always creeps into my social outings. Sure, most ladies dance when they go out. But do they dance well? I am convinced that my club moves have improved since I started taking ballet. I’m not sure where the connection is, especially since there is nothing gracefully, elegant or “ballet like” about twerking it on the dance floor. I’m just so more coordinated!! It is really pretty awesome.

Speaking of which – have you seen the how-to-twerk video on YouTube? I showed it to a bartender tonight. I’m pretty sure I changed her world. I would now like to change yours. *Enjoy.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=NgoyVRO0A0E&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DNgoyVRO0A0E

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Vegas Baby!!

It’s my little sisters 21st birthday and I’m in Vegas baby!!! More to come!!

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Tomorrow, I Swear!

I was supposed to post pictures or a video of my arabesque penche for the challenge, but it didn’t turn out right. Ms. Disney promised to do a video tomorrow in between classes. So, I will post something by tomorrow night. I am committed to this challenge, I swear! “By the moon and the stars in the sky!” Anyone? Anyone? I hate that song. It reminds me of when I worked at Kohls during college.

Speaking of hell, I mean Kohls, did I ever tell you when I found a massive dump in the women’s dressing room?! Yeah, it was pretty magical. I was cleaning up some clothes that some delightful patron left in a pile on the seat. I smelled something….fart-like. I heard a women (at least that’s what I assumed was a women) in the dressing room next to me. I thought to myself, “Hello! Someone had Mexican for lunch. Ga-Ross.” And giggled softly to myself, because let’s face it, farts are funny. As I picked up the last item of clothing off of the seat, instead of lifting right up, it sort of pealed off. It even made a noise. Like a piece of tape being removed from skin. Underneath? You guessed it – a giant turd! Happy day! I found poop in the women’s dressing room! Has Christmas come early?! Why it must have, because I could have never dreamed of a gift so lovely for an under paid college student then to find a crap in a space that is so clearly not a toilet! The best part? There was no way a child could have created such splendor. An individual of the teenage or adult persuasion intentionally dropped trou and defecated in a Kohls dressing room. I was horrified. I mean, I have seen my fair share of puddles of pee around the children’s department, but never did I have the luxury of witnessing dung in such an unexpected place. I could only imagine the thought process of the the classy lady who decided that this was where poop should go. It probably went something like this,”MAN do I have to poop. Well, I could walk to the women’s restroom that is only a short jaunt from here. But then, I would delay trying on all these beautiful pieces of non-custom made, Chinese derived, poorly crafted, bedazzled, cotton t-shirts that have either a bird, kitten, sunflower, snowflake, pumpkin or palm tree on it! What to do, what to do. Well, it’s settled. I’m shitting right here!!!” So, without hesitation, I gingerly placed the soiled shirt back on the turd, gracefully walked to the employee phone and informed management, “I just found a shit in the women’s dressing room. You better get someone from maintenance over here right away, because I know I don’t get paid enough to clean up poop.”

And that’s my Kohls poop story.

Silly Wabbit

My kids and I; looking the way God made us, but sillier.

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Me and Bear doing the boo-boo-kissy face. Always a crowd favorite.

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….and then that’s when things got out of hand…

Sissy as a kitty-cat.  (Meow).

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Haven’t you heard? My son is a man of the cloth (err, I mean gown).  He is so holy.

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Mirror, mirror on the wall.  Who is the funkiest ballerina of them all? Why, it’s me!!

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I even stole a picture from Ms. Disney’s Facebook and got her involved in our shenanigans.  I couldn’t help it. 

Her face just screams “pee on me” doesn’t it? Ewwwwwww HA!

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Super Junior AWAY!!!!!

I have a new Twitter follower.  Her name is KeelyValentine  Ms. Valentine not only has a Twitter account, but a blog as well.  Ms. Valentine likes Korean Pop Music.  On her blog you will find the most spectacular video from a Korean pop group called “Super Junior”.  I watched the video.  It is so freaking hilarious that I had to post it for all of you people to enjoy.  Note the following:

(1) I counted 10 members in this boy band. YES 10.  [Apparently they had as many as 13 members.]  That is a crazy amount of boys for one band. Are they trying to appeal to every type of prepubescent teen in the entire country?  From the looks of the video they have shy boy, gay boy, fat boy (oh yes, there is chubby one), overly feminine boy, creepy boy, dance boy, jewelry boy,  beautiful-hair boy, sunglass boy and background boy (because they couldn’t possibly all get camera time).

(2) The guy with the yellow blond hair – can you imagine how much bleach that had to take to make his hair that light?! His scalp is probably toast. His parents probably had to sign a waiver before his manager could put the amount of chemicals necessary to get his hair such a perfect shade of toe-head blond.

(3) A couple of them are wearing nooses for ties.  Umm, am I missing something?  When is wearing rope cool? I must be getting old, because that just doesn’t make any sense.  You boys clearly have some cash now – go buy a tie and stop embarrasing yourselves.

(4) What is with the vampire claw rings?!  What do you plan on doing after the video shoot?  Luring some unsuspecting preteens to your lair and drink their virgin blood?  This is why Twilight pisses me off.  You are not vampires boys.  Put down the books and watch Beastmaster like all the other self-resprecting people do.

(5) Try not to bop to this wicked-smart beat people. If I knew what in the hell these adorable little Koren pups were saying, I would probably like it more than I do!  “Swertil, kernal, sweetil, peetil, peety, peety poo! Let me tell you now: Swertkl, lernal, sweetil, peetil, peety, peety poo!”

 

Ops I did it Again!

I went to a dance supply store with Ms. Disney and I did it again – I bought ANOTHER pair of Gaynors.  I know, I know! What would I do such a crazy thing and purchase another pair of pointe shoes whan I already have a perfectly good pair already?  Well, the reason is simple, I wanted a softer shank (supple instead of extra flex) and I thought possibly that I could go a 1/2 size down.  The only pair they had at the store that had the extra flex was a size 8 (I currently have an 8 1/2), with a narrow width and sleek vamp/heel.  The shoes fit beautifully at the store.  See?

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The problem? Once I sewed the elastic and ribbons on it was TOO TIGHT! I couldn’t roll down the into the shoe.  I didn’t know how I thought these would work.  I guess the it was because the shoes felt good on releve (not to mention they made my feet looked stunning).  You cannot wear a pointe shoe you cannot work on the floor.  Needless to say, I was upset.  I am over it now.  These suckers are getting sold on ebay and I am moving onto the next pair. You won’t hear the last of me Gaynors! I have only just begun!

On a higher note – I had a wonderful class tonight.  It was our fist class of the new session.  Last Thursday was such a disaster I decided I had to start practicing at home again.  So last night I slapped on my ballet shoes, made room in my kitchen and had at it for an hour.  My decision was a good one.  I felt more confident and class went much smoother tonight. *Joy.  Don’t you just love a solid class? It doesn’t have to be perfect; you just have to feel good doing it.  That is what matters.

BTW – I am watching the movie Beastmaster.  Do any of you remember this movie?  It is about this muscular dude who is all magical and stuff, and more importantly, he can talk to animals! (Lucky!) Along Mr. Master’s treacherous journey to save the kingdom from an evil wizard, he meets a beautiful (natural) red-headed peasant girl, gathers some pretty sweet pets (i.e.  a leopard, two ferrets and hawk) and fights all sorts of nasty unmentionable things (i.e. blood sucking lizard people, ear-leached lunatics and moody Harikrishna-looking guys).  Yeah, I know.  This movie is so cool, right?! It gets even better – the wizard has a coven of witches who, get this, have smoking hot bodies, but their faces are all old and ugly! Ewwww-yucky!  It’s like if you just looked at their feet and worked your way you would be like, “nice, nice, hot, hot, woah boobies!, nice, WOAH! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!  NANNA GET THE AX!”  You should check the movie out just for the hot/nasty witches alone.

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IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT

Attention all blog readers.  I have an important announcement to make:

I DO NOT WANT TO GO TO WORK TOMORROW.  I REPEAT.  I DO NOT WANT TO GO TO WORK TOMORROW.

That is all.

(I bet you thought I was going to tell you something really important, didn’t you?  For that, I apologize.   It’s just something I thought had to be said on a large scare.)

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