Archive | July 2012

Feeling Unmotivated…

Sundays are usually my long practice days.   Its just me and the kitchen floor for about 2 hours, followed by a 1/2 hour of hardcore stretching.  Instead of setting my wood floor on fire, I am laying on my bedroom floor writing on my blog. Why? Because I am discouraged and just a little unmotivated. I hate when i have days like this. My practice started out strong and then I was bombarded with multiple distractions, which resulted in me losing steam and just feeling frustrated with myself. Not to mention that I feel all fat today. I know, I know, I’m not fat, but that doesn’t mean I do not have fat days.  Days like these I want to hang up my ballet slippers and say “screw it!” But, I cannot. All my hard work will pay off eventually.  I just have to keep trying.

Well, my husband just took the kids outside so i can practice in peace. I do not want to squander this moment, so I am going to get my dead ass up off the floor and practice despite my negative attitude. Wish me luck.


Dancing With Ra-Bek-Ka

Our Adult Ballet class was cancelled tonight – the General is sick. Booooooooo on that my friends.  However, the kind and graceful Jeanette offered her studio to me and Ra-Bek-Ka to practice….Well Hellz-Yeah!  I am always up to practice.  Honestly, I thought I was going to cry when Jeanette texted me the awful news.  I know, I know, I am a little pathetic.

Much to my surprise, no one besides me and Ra-Bek wanted to practice tonight.  Well, Kimmy did, but she is all busy at work (I feel ya Kimmy, I feel ya.)  I suppose me and Ra-Bek are just a couple of ballet geeks who are always clamoring to get into the studio to practice our sweet moves.

I didn’t know what to expect tonight, but I knew I was going to gain something out of this evening.  Whether it be some constructive criticism on my turn-out or some good old-fashioned gossip.  (I can’t help it.  I am a lady and I swear it is in our DNA.)    Sure enough, Ra-Bek-Ka didn’t disappoint.  We busted out an entire lesson and I even think I did pretty well tonight!  I did multiple fouettes at the bar (score) and landed pirouettes in a dance combination we performed to music (double score).  Not to mention that I actually felt graceful while dancing, which is a rare treat indeed.  Plus, I even did shanay(nays) and pique turns on pointe for the first time (TRIPLE score!!!)   I don’t know why everything felt so smooth tonight – maybe it was the fact that we had the whole studio to ourselves; or maybe the lack of pressure of dancing in front of the senior company, as well as the general; the fact that we were dancing to some of our own music (“Booty Wurk” by T-Pain did make an appearance during pointe); or that I was able to dance along side Ra-Bek-Ka (who is an excellent teacher, BTW).  Regardless, I had a great time and a great practice tonight with an awesome, little dancer. 🙂

PS – If you are reading this General, you can verify these statements with Ra-Bek-Ka.  She promised to tell you.  Maybe some day I can have an awesome lesson with you! Until then – you will just have to accept my fumbling self!!

There is Something Magical About My Kitchen

Why is it that when I practice at home, everything looks and feels better?!  There must be something magical about my kitchen floor.  Like a unicorn flew in on a rainbow and sprayed it with enchanted dancing dust or something.  I swear my pirouettes are smoother, I can pique turn like a mow-fow and my shanay (nays) are out-of-this-world!  My confidence is soaring, I am feeling like that unicorn – freaking awesome. But, then it happens.  I get to class on Tuesday and it’s like all those amazing things never happened!  That really gets my goat because I get all discouraged at class, practice some more at home, my confidence get elevated again and the same damn thing happens on Thursday!  Darn you magical kitchen floor, darn you!  I am going to find that unicorn and put a bullet in him.

One day, I hope that the magic of the kitchen floor and the studio floor with combine forces to become one unstoppable force.  Come to think of it, maybe instead of shooting the unicorn, I should invite him to come to Jeanette’s studio to spray his mystical dancing dust there…Yup, it’s a plan.

Words of Encouragement

Yesterday I had a private lesson with the General.  The lesson started out solid, but it ended flat as a pancake.  I am STILL struggling with my pirouettes (my right especially) and we started working on fouettes.  Ug,  That is all I can say about that.  And don’t even get me started about the combination that the General had us do on Thursday.  I looked like a drunken monkey trying to pull that one off.  Then again, a drunken monkey would probably look more graceful than I did.  Needless to say, while the lesson was not a total loss, I did not necessarily feel like I was on the verge of setting the dance world on fire with my sweet moves.  Now, I know these things happen, but I have to admit, I was a little discouraged.  I even secretly thought to myself while I drove from my lesson, “What in the HELL are you doing?  You may get a little better over time, but you will likely never look as good as your fellow students.”  Not to mention that my ASS (yes my ASS) hurts daily, and sometimes my left leg (double Ug), and I still can’t go down into the splits not matter how much I stretch! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!…..(sorry – I needed that).  I shook off the negative thoughts and drove back to the other torture chamber I frequent – my job (which has totally sucked lately).

Last night I was chilling with my homie – aka Sissy Pants, watching You Tube videos like we always do on Friday nights.  While she was getting me another drink (I love me some margaritas) I thought I would check Facebook to see what the Scuttle Butt was.  Low and behold I have a message!  Wahoo – A message!  I am not a total dork; people actually want to talk to me (score).   I open it and it is from one of the girls in my class.  She is in the Senior Company and this may very well be her last year at the studio because she will be graduating in 2013 and will be going off to college (where her ass belongs).  I jokingly call her “Ra-Bek-Ka” because sometimes she talks in a southern dialect and I thought “Ra-Bek-Ka” is more fitting name for someone who drives an old pick-up truck, has puffy bangs, lives in a double-wide with her baby and her Ma-Ma somewheres in Tennessee.    Re-Bek-Ka is an awesome dancer and works her ass off at every lesson.  She has a great attitude, a bubbly personality and all of the girls in the class love her, including the General. Anywho – she sent me the message because she wanted to let me know that I inspire her.  (Who? Me?!?!?!?!)  She said that seeing me work hard, pushes her to work hard too.  She also said that I have come along way and I have shown everyone that I can and will dance.  She closed her message by saying, “Thank you [Legal Ballerina] for your driven and dedicated personality.”  …Wow… it’s tear time.

I couldn’t help but feel honored that someone that I respect as a dancer has told me that I inspire HER.  Well, shit.  Now that I know how much my little Re-Bek-Ka is depending on me I will be damned if I am going to let her down!  I am going to have to keep pushing myself to achieve my goal, but not just for me, but also for those charming, smart, gorgeous and FUNNY (I laugh so hard during class – sorry General) young ladies.  I inspire them? Well they inspire me too. I was floored when I watched them dance this past spring.  They all dance beautifully and they made me want to dance even more.  They also give me the courage to waltz into that studio every week and dance along side them.  They have all been so kind and inviting and I am grateful they have allowed me to become a part of their dance crew.  So – thank you, Ra-Bek-Ka.  I thank all you girls.  I really needed that.  🙂

To Be or Not to Be

Given that I am the only adult student in my class, I am the only person in the class that has a career (besides my dance teacher).  As a result, I get a lot of inquiries from some of the older students about my job.  Some common questions are, “What’s it like being a lawyer?”  “Do you like being a lawyer?” “How long did you have to go to school?” – and my favorite – “Can I shadow you someday?”  Of course, I am always receptive to questions about my job.  I love molding young minds!  However, as I respond with my usual answers of, “It is stressful, but fulfilling” “sometimes I love it and sometimes I hate it” “anywhere between 7-8 years of actual school and another 5 years of on the job training (that’s how long it usually takes for most lawyers to get comfortable with their job.  No joke.)” and “Sure!”  All I could think is: “Why are you even asking me this?  Don’t you want to be a professional dancer?  I would!”  A part of me wants to ask, but I never do.  I suppose it is because I know what the answer is already – “NO”.  If the girls in the senior company were really serious about becoming professional dancers, they would not get lectures from the General about how they need to be able to do the splits by the fall session and how they are not allowed to take any outside sports besides dance when they are in high school. The General sent out an email to the girls regarding these matters the other day.  I even asked the General whether her daughters were going to go professional and she said that she NEVER encouraged them to do so.  When asked why, the General said that a dancer’s life is a hard and she would not want to see her girls have to work so hard and be picked apart like she did.  I understand – that is certainly a valid reason.  Maybe that is why none of her students give it much thought.  They probably know they do not want to work that hard to be a professional dancer.  They would rather dance and have fun doing it.  I do feel sorry for them though.  There is nothing more difficult than trying to figure out what you are going to be when you grow up.  Praise Jesus – those days are far behind me.

So, now I ask myself, if I had the opportunity to train and (attempt) to become a professional ballet dancer, would I?  Well, I really don’t know.  I know for sure that if I had the opportunity in my youth I would have likely squandered it.  I was not mature enough to dedicate myself to train hard.  I was always “too cool for school” back then (and sometimes even now.  Holla!)  Not to mention that most professions seem glamorous on the outside, but there are always aspects of every job that just down right SUCK.  At least I have job security beyond my late 20’s and am not susceptible to any physical injuries, except for the occasional client that is a royal pain-in-my-ass.  So, when I think about it, I guess my answer is no (?)  OK, that is still not a definite answer.  There is always going to be that little wonder looming in the back of my mind, but luckily for me, my fate is set.  I am a lawyer by day and a dancing queen by night.  That, is that.

So, young ladies, when asking yourself “to be or not to be” a lawyer, a ballerina, a garbage man, anything you need to first ask yourself (1) what do you want out of a job (i.e. working with children, being in a leadership role, sitting in an office, dancing all day, driving on the back of a sweet garbage truck, etc.); (2) how important do you want it to be in your life (i.e. will your job be number one or run second to marriage, family or outside hobbies) and (3) how hard are you willing to work to achieve it (i.e. school for a decade, training for hours in a gym or hauling more trash than any other man).

And that, ladies and gentleman, concludes this weeks installment of “the more you know” with the legal ballerina.


“Solid Gold!” [insert synthesized saxophone and key-tar here] Does anyone remember that show besides me?! It’s an oldie, but goodie.  This show aired back in the early 80’s.  Basically, it played top 40 hits while the “solid gold dancers” grooved along to the beat.  I remember this show because, much to me and my sisters’ dismay, my mother turned it on after Saturday cartoons ended.  My mom would pump up the volume and boogie while she cleaned.  I distinctly remember thinking that these dancers were super talented.  They were sooo cool.  I would watch them and think, “I wish I could dance like that.”  I would also think, “I can’t wait until I can have big hair and boobs!” [But that is not the point.]

I mentioned the show to my new paralegal, Natasha.  To no surprise – she didn’t have a clue who the “solid gold” dancers were.  Why? She was born in 1989.  [Ouch.  It hurts every time I say it.] So, in order to give Natasha the full effect – I looked up the Solid Gold dancers on YouTube.  Wouldn’t you know it? There they all were – high-hipped spandex, teased-out hair and all.  Of course, we were laughing our asses off at the sight of these women and men jumping spastically around the Solid Gold stage to the latest release from Journey, but there was something even more comical about the display.  These dancers kind of…well…they kind of sucked!  I know, who am I to judge, right?!  But seriously, come on! They were all so stiff and all over the place.  Alright “Pam”, alright “Coolie” (yes, Coolie), get it together people! It’s not just about cartwheels and doing high-kicks on the stage! You actually have to dance!  I guess when you are 5 years old everyone looks like an incredible dancer.  Now that I am all-growed-up and actually taking dance lessons I know there is more to dancing than just flailing your arms/legs about in a (somewhat) synchronized fashion.  However, in their defense, it was the 80’s.  They were probably considered good dancers back then.  Now? Not so much.  Take the show “So You Think You Can Dance” for instance.   Those contestants have to do every style of dance, every week and make it look beautiful and effortless at the same time.  Now they are good dancers.  Unfortunately, I don’t think Pam or Coolie would have made it past the first phase of auditions. [Sorry Coolie. 😦 I love what you have done with your hair though!  Who doesn’t like an afro-mullet?!]

Here is a good clip.  Sorry about the quality.  It was the 80’s, HELLO!